(no subject)

[fruktansvard]

[ Up Fabian meanders in his slow placid sort of way. He drapes his arms over the podium and links those bony fingers for a moment before deciding this question would be best delivered around a cigarette. Once that's been taken care of, he goes back to previous posture. ]

Do you fear death; do you long for it? Does death inspire a curiosity or a paralysis within your thoughts? Have you put great thought in to after death? Do you have your own personal belief?

Comments

[fruktansvard]

Fair enough. What drives your desire for mediocrity, then? [ Chainsmoker that he is when drinking, he lights another. Not like he can get fucking cancer anyway. ]

Just curious.

[serialized]

Same analogy from the other side, I guess. If you're at the bottom of the abyss, just get a little higher up. No need to shoot for the stars.

[ His smile is more sheepish, as if this is the slacker sentiment of a chronic underachiever and not, for example, the words of someone digging his nails into the metaphorical cliff face while shadowy hands pull on his legs. That's a little too dramatic for easy analogies. ]

So are you and your art are part of those who long for more?

[fruktansvard]

No, it's a part of a longing for destruction of the self. [ stark moment of honesty here ]

I don't paint or write for anyone. If it effects someone, then it does so.

[serialized]

[ His glasses might hide it, but his gaze drops from Fabian immediately, at least for a moment. Surprised, maybe not that surprised, he's not good at analyzing his own reaction. To hear that from someone else's mouth. ]

I can see how it might.

[ A bland automatic response to tide the conversation over while he rallies himself to produce something more normal. ]

I — would like to see them. Some day.

[ ... not entirely successful. ]

[fruktansvard]

[ His art is for himself. His magic is for others. At least... he really needs to justify his existence by such a proposed purpose. Let's - not talk about this matter. It gets muddy. ]

Then some day you will.