chain-smoking profanity machine (
meanwhileback) wrote in
askandanswer2014-09-21 11:22 pm
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[Smoking at the podium is probably bad form, but here's Penelope, doing exactly that thing.]
How do you dress when you're at home? Is it different from how you dress when you're at work, or when you're out running errands, or when you're out partying or whatever?
Do you feel like what you wear is part of your personality, or do you use it to mask your personality from the uncaring eye of society or whatever?
Or do you feel like clothes are unimportant and don't have any impact on who you are at all? Because you're frankly fucking wrong, if that's what you think, but I mean I'm not your mom who clearly raised you wrong, so who am I to judge, right?
[Penelope feels she is precisely the one to judge. Everything. Clearly.]
How do you dress when you're at home? Is it different from how you dress when you're at work, or when you're out running errands, or when you're out partying or whatever?
Do you feel like what you wear is part of your personality, or do you use it to mask your personality from the uncaring eye of society or whatever?
Or do you feel like clothes are unimportant and don't have any impact on who you are at all? Because you're frankly fucking wrong, if that's what you think, but I mean I'm not your mom who clearly raised you wrong, so who am I to judge, right?
[Penelope feels she is precisely the one to judge. Everything. Clearly.]
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The man I see in New York says I don't look very cosmopolitan, but that it isn't a bad thing? He might just be saying that.
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I would like to make money from those people also. All the money.
Also the man you see in New York is a prick who sounds a lot like the kind of guy who refers to anything that isn't in NY or LA as "flyover country" for saying that shit. Next time he says you don't look very "cosmopolitan" you tell him he doesn't look very "like he's going to get any tonight or ever again if he keeps insulting you with that bullshit". Do it for the vine.
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( they're 6' 4", and about 90% of that is leg; nothing is ever long enough or narrow enough, and they can't afford anything new, so everything secondhand gets chopped up and frankensteined back together. )
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[I MUST WRAP YOU IN FUR i mean what]
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I can't.
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I, ehm... uh...
( face slowly reddening... )
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[How ANNOYING. Hmm. She cocks a hip and strokes her chin, studiously evaluating the situation.]
I can fix shy. What's your inseam?
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( they're not sure. they might have grown. )
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( even the big and tall store doesn't have anything — they're only one of those adjectives — and it's all overpriced anyway. )
I don't know, I go to charity shops...
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[Penelope is SO MUCH SHORTER than them, but please look at how she just blazes with truth and righteousness when she talks about clothes. It is striking.]
Work for me, I will make ALL your clothes. And they will fit. Fit properly. And they will be so nice. You will be a walking advertisement for me and my astronomical skill and you will get paid AND you will get a wardrobe that befits someone of your status as a magical fashion unicorn. Do the thing.
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( what even is happening here )
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Those people are wrong.
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Also, my first job is in a hospital, and everyone thinks doctors who wear scrubs outside of the hospital are gross. Quite rightly.
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Nobody should wear scrubs except hospital professionals in a hospital environment. Back in the 2000s there was some kind of trend to wear them as like, real human being clothes, and it made me physically angry.
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Trackies are still very much a thing in some parts of the world, I'm sorry to say. Complete with the derriere slogans. You know, for the ladies.
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Some parts of the world are decades behind, fashion-wise. Large parts of Canada were trapped in a time pocket from 1988 until about 2007. Now they're up to about the mid-90s, which thankfully for them, is back in again.
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A lot of Eastern Europe — at least, where I have lived — is not dissimilar, except it's more 2003ish.