Rachel Conway (
gotbottle) wrote in
askandanswer2014-09-30 10:47 pm
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(no subject)
Okay, so like-- the whole "clean underwear" thing.
[She leans in a bit, forearms braced on the podium, fingers dangling off the edge.]
I mean, like, "clean underwear in case you get hit by a truck", like my mom's always saying. Is it for real? Or is it just my mom? I mean, I'm sure I've heard jokes about it on TV so maybe it's not just my mom that says it.
But seriously, if you're on a gurney in the ER and they've got to cut your clothes off or whatever, is some doctor really gonna stop and be like, "Wow, clean underwear. Good job"? Beeeeecause that's kind of not a comforting thought. I'm not okay with that.
I'm totally not advocating that we abandon clean underwear, I'm just... wondering if whatever underwear business you have going on at the time of an emergency really matters. Does it? If no: why the concern? If yes: is "clean" sufficient or like, are there other guidelines?
[She leans in a bit, forearms braced on the podium, fingers dangling off the edge.]
I mean, like, "clean underwear in case you get hit by a truck", like my mom's always saying. Is it for real? Or is it just my mom? I mean, I'm sure I've heard jokes about it on TV so maybe it's not just my mom that says it.
But seriously, if you're on a gurney in the ER and they've got to cut your clothes off or whatever, is some doctor really gonna stop and be like, "Wow, clean underwear. Good job"? Beeeeecause that's kind of not a comforting thought. I'm not okay with that.
I'm totally not advocating that we abandon clean underwear, I'm just... wondering if whatever underwear business you have going on at the time of an emergency really matters. Does it? If no: why the concern? If yes: is "clean" sufficient or like, are there other guidelines?
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Not really, no. If someone's bleeding out and we have to cut their clothes off, nobody notices the sartorial quality of what's underneath unless their underwear looks two years old and we need to bear hygiene in mind for further treatment.
But, like, an A&E night shift staple is men who put foreign objects into their anal cavities and then pretend they fell on said shampoo bottle in the shower. Faded-out panties are pretty low-grade, comparatively.
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[Just... give her a moment to move past that.]
And, see, that's what I always thought. There are seriously bigger problems than someone's underwear situation in moments like those. But my mom insists.
Is it just a mom thing? Or some superstition or something?
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It's not anything I've heard from my mother, but it's probably a common maternal thing to contemplate. I'm not familiar with any superstition attached, but it could be an American thing, and I am not, so...possibly?
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Could be.
Also we're from California. We might be a little extra weird.
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That is the stereotype, isn't it? Maybe California just has particularly judgmental doctors.
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I'm screwed. I buy underwear at Target.
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Also, she's not a snob, so she doesn't take this to heart, but pretty much all neurosurgeons think cosmetic surgeons are pathetic. Hard not to think of that, even if she won't let herself judge too much. ]
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I think it's way more interesting without all that.
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And yeah, that's it: here the rich and/or famous live in one world, and that's the world the tourists come to see. Like how they visit the one upscale block of Hollywood Boulevard that's got the theater where the Oscars are held, but they don't see the rest of it that's full of tiny business trying to succeed or struggling people trying to make a living or Scientologists.
The rest of us live in a world that isn't so manufactured or glamorous, but it's far more rich, if you ask me.
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I think you're right about that. We've got scientologists in Edinburgh! They are not well-loved and not really one of life's riches, though.
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They're not here, either. [She laughs.] The city's just overrun with them--I guess because of all the celebrities? I don't know. But they're everywhere. Like cockroaches. Really devoted, really well-off cockroaches.
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I think bras are exempt from this rule. Everybody knows you don't wash bras unless Jupiter is in the seventh house and Virgo is rising or whatever, so there's no law in effect there.
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Also like--if I'm about to get hit by a bus those underwear wouldn't stay clean anyway, if you know what I mean.
Bras have to be exempt, you can't be washing those left and right. Think of the underwires and elastic.