(no subject)

[comeandgetyourlove]

[There's the heavy sound of boots on the ground as he moves toward the podium. His coat billows open with his long strides, revealing a blaster strapped to one hip and a Walkman to the other.

He gets up there, and there's a moment's posing pause, one hand splayed atop the podium as he looks out over the piazza, clearly about to ask the most serious and grave of questions.]

What's the best pickup line you've heard, that's worked?

[...What? It's a serious matter to him, okay?]

Comments

[vengeance_driven]

[Is that a walkman? They don't even have those in America anymore- they still had them in Serbia when he left, but that's besides the point. Country boy, you know...]

My cousin, Roman, he gets a lot of girls by telling them that they are smart and beautiful. But he is also a big softy, a good person, and I think they can tell he has no harm in him. He just wants to make them happy. He doesn't mind them laughing at him.

[comeandgetyourlove]

[Yes, that is a Walkman. They still had them in America when he left; this one is especially special because his mom gave it to him it provides the soundtrack to the most epic adventures of the most notorious outlaw: Star Lord.]

I'm all those things.

...Wait, no, I'm most of those things. Can't promise I won't do someone some harm.

[vengeance_driven]

He is pretty obviously a big softy. And he is very confident with them, and they seem to like that. Like he has his head together.

But I am not so much. I ah... I get nervous around pretty girls. Sometimes forget my English and for some reason I usually don't have to make come on lines to go out with them.

[Though he does sometimes say stupid things to see if they'll take him to bed after they've gone out, because why not?]

[comeandgetyourlove]

Hey, man, a lot of ladies like it when you're shy or nervous. Brings out their protective instincts, or it makes them feel like, wow, I'm a little intimidating.

I wish it was something I could try. I just... can't be shy or nervous.

[vengeance_driven]

I have screwed up quite a few dates by just taking her somewhere she doesn't like or wearing clothes that she doesn't approve of.

It sounds like you're caught between a rock and a hard place, friend.

[comeandgetyourlove]

Hey, man, at least you're trying. You're out there making an effort. I gotta respect that and I hope the ladies do too.

[He shrugs.]

I guess I'm just gonna have to go with confidence. I've got a ton of that.

[So modest, this one.]

[vengeance_driven]

I am confident at least where there is not actually asking of the girl out. The rest of it goes pretty good. I take her somewhere she likes. Wear things she thinks are hot.

I need to find more ladies that are not terrible people, though. I have only met a couple.

[comeandgetyourlove]

Where are you hanging out, man, that all the ladies are terrible people?

[vengeance_driven]

My cousin Roman talked me into going on dates with an internet dating site in Liberty City. Is stupid, the whole thing! One woman only talks about how she wants me to buy her an apartment and a titty job. One woman can't remember what part of Europe I'm from and thinks I am the Spanish guy she fucks, and brags that she is slumming it with someone who lives where the "help" does. One slashes my tires and tells me gay people are terrible because they break up marriages.

My luck is not the best.

[comeandgetyourlove]

...Dude.

All those dating sites are always skeevy, man. At least in a bar, you can check someone out a little and hope for the best. With those sites you never know what you're gonna get.

[vengeance_driven]

I don't know, I figure if I try to talk to a drunk lady I will also probably not know what I am going to get. You must go to better bars than I have.

[comeandgetyourlove]

I just have a talent for picking the best.

[ ...No, he doesn't. ]

I could take you to some bars sometime, show you how it's done.

[vengeance_driven]

Sure, big man, you show me how it's done. Take me to a bar and make ladies like you.

[comeandgetyourlove]

You got any idea where the nearest bar is?

[vengeance_driven]

Not from here. I admit, I figured some strange place like this would be a bad place to get drunk if I didn't want to stumble into the wrong universe. But if I'm not drinking too much? It sounds like a plan.

[comeandgetyourlove]

I'm not from here either. But it can't hurt to look. Or maybe ask. I mean, I figure the place has got to have a bar or two? Think about how some booze will loosen people's tongues. Makes for better questions.

[vengeance_driven]

Most drunk questions aren't all that good with me but sure, if there's a bar around lets find it and see. [He makes a gesture as if to say, "Lead on".]

[comeandgetyourlove]

Uuuh... okay.

[ Peter scans the area all nonchalant, as if he actually has any clue what's around. ]

There's gotta be something in one of these buildings surrounding this square. Come on.

repeated icon noooo

[vengeance_driven]

[The blind is leading the ignorant, except the ignorant is pretty sure this can't be any worse than where he lives so he follows along pretty easily. Whatever. No one has rear-ended anyone else out of the corner of his eye and no random bystanders have shouted profanities.]

[Yet.]

[They might soon. He'll be surprised if they don't.]

Sure. Man, ladies must have a hard time finding dates if they come all the way out here for one.