(no subject)

[threnodic]

How do I make my kid sleep through the night.

In a healthy fashion, because I'm at a point where I'm pretty sure I will start hallucinating soon.

Comments

[exterrorist]

Well, what we did is get fifty billion answers from everyone and their postman, and went through like a dozen of the least shitty sounding ones, at which point she grew out of whatever batshit sleep cycle babies go through and started a new, differently batshit one. So. I don't know, how old's the kid?

[threnodic]

[ ah, the sound of experience ]

She's almost one and a half. Sixteen months, specifically. [ old enough for a personality, young enough to not be coherently talkative, though she does say a few words. often loudly, at 3 AM. ] And teething, so that's, you know, fun for her and me too.

[exterrorist]

Yeah, that's a really great time. On the upside, I'd guess she'll be sleeping different again within a month. Not necessarily better different, but you can hope.

[threnodic]

Faaantastic. At least there will be variety as she gets older, which— how old's yours?

[exterrorist]

It could be the hallucinations grant you access to the parental collective unconscious. That's definitely what I used to hallucinate about.

She's nine now.

[threnodic]

That would be the one place telepaths would not dare to go.

[exterrorist]

Yeah, maybe it'd be a good anti-telepathy measure too. Just start thinking about controversial childcare stuff until they go away.