askandanswer | (no subject)

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[he staggers in, one hand clamped to an eye.]

Ow, fu...uck?

[that was his attempt at making it a question, which doesn't seem to fly with the weird masked things. not that they indicated that, in any way, he just had a feeling.]

Okay, uh, say you been only eating the same thing for - [his eyes glaze over as he tries to do math in his head and fails] - years. What's the first thing you'd eat once you got the chance?

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I think the real question is what wouldn't I eat? [Then he pauses as the answer occurs to him much as it's a light punch to the chest.] Chocolate chip cookie. Secret... family recipe.

See, that's what I'm talking about. Something special.

Is... this a hypothetical question or one asked from experience? Because if it's the latter, why are you asking questions and not seeing if this place has food?

It's.... complicated.

[Ethan has his fair share of complications so he doesn't push.] So what would your answer be to that particular question?

[he thinks about it, then grimaces] Meat. A really raw hunk of the best steak you've ever seen. I would've thought it'd be something else, but I guess not.

[he notices the grimace. also the use of the word raw, raw steak.] Did you want it to be something else?

Well, cookies would be less... violent?

I don't know. I'm incredibly aggressive about my cookies. [he's joking if only to help him feel better. ethan struggles with violent tendencies. werewolf. he's certain the werewolf would love raw meat even if ethan is lucky enough to only have to really worry about that once a month.]

[a werewolf and a vampire could bond a lot over violent tendencies, probably.]

I was about to say I'd give a therapist a field day, but you might actually beat me there.

[very probably. he smirks.]

There is something about being violently aggressive over cookies that might just beat that out, yeah. Speaking of, if the cookie monster were real, wouldn't he be legitimately terrifying? Could never keep a cookie anywhere without losing whatever you've kept it in.

If the cookie monster were real, I'd be having very different nightmares. Can you imagine a real life Big Bird? Shit would be terrifying.

I actually can't even begin to imagine a real life Big Bird. Think about the destruction. Birds are a bit creepy looking when they're small. It's the eyes. Thinking of that in larger form? Creepy. Or if there were actual Grouchs in the trash cans... Sesame Street could easily be a horror movie with a different spin.

Well, birds are all just tiny dinosaurs, right? Tiny dinosaurs seeking revenge from the injustice of no longer being dinosaurs. Hitchcock was right about the bird all along.

This is making an alarming amount of sense and greatly raising my fear of birds. I'm impressed, and I will never watch The Birds in the same way again. He was clearly psychic.

Well, he was clearly psychotic. That's almost the same thing, right?

Sure. Only a few letters different in word. Nearly the same thing.

Eh, who needs spelling anyway?

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