Nah for real though if we're doing karaoke I'd probably do Dolly Parton. You know like, from that musical. The one the cops got mad at me for for singing along to. Like, WOW. You could be out solving crimes but instead you're hassling me for the sin of enjoying classic music —
( megan you were blasting it from a boombox at top volume in a residential area, while also selling drugs.)
I can totes do Dolly Parton though. We have the same pitch!
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, JOLEEEEENE! I'm beggin' of you, please don't take my maaan! Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, JOLEEEENE! Please don't take him just because you caaaan!
Your beauty is beyond compare With flaming locks of auburn hair With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green — Your smile is like a breath of spring Your voice is soft like summer rain And I cannot compete with you, Joleeeeeeeene!
No back the FRICK up. Like a real one? Like how big? Like a real pony big? Actually that would be kind of creepy wouldn't it, like they don't really have horse parts, they're just kind of blobs. I bet if they were real they'd be like made out of marshmallow fluff or something and they'd be squishy if you sat on them which is kind of weird. Also, how the heck do they talk? Do they have lips? Like weird fleshy human lips? Wouldn't that be super weird? But they'd probably also be magic so that makes up for it I guess —
What's with everyone here and their like weird gritty reimaginings of stuff? Are we about to get like a smurf with Norman Reedus' face chewing on a blade of grass and carrying a sawed-off shotgun?
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Nah, I'm just messing with you. I can deal with Oasis. Only minor judging.
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I can totes do Dolly Parton though. We have the same pitch!
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Uh — Dolly Parton's a good choice. What's your favorite by her?
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Oh man I can totally do this —
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[don't say thing, don't you dare say thing, DON'T SAY THING REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME]
- Individual that ate my car keys last week?
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[there is a pause]
I think it may have been a My Little Pony, actually.
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No back the FRICK up. Like a real one? Like how big? Like a real pony big? Actually that would be kind of creepy wouldn't it, like they don't really have horse parts, they're just kind of blobs. I bet if they were real they'd be like made out of marshmallow fluff or something and they'd be squishy if you sat on them which is kind of weird. Also, how the heck do they talk? Do they have lips? Like weird fleshy human lips? Wouldn't that be super weird? But they'd probably also be magic so that makes up for it I guess —
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No! It's terrible! I think it ate my roommate too. My Little Ponies aren't supposed to do that, right?
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[welp.]
Did nobody ever teach you how to be less... like, you? Because hoooly shit there is a whole lot of you going on.
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( she flutters her wings threateningly. don't do it, penny. don't. she'll dust you, she will. )