(no subject)

[acharmingsmile]

Why am I so incredibly handsome? It is such a struggle tearing myself away from the mirror each and every morning... but looks like these must be shared with the world, you know.

[ He winks. ] I'm usually a remarkably modest fellow but this seems like the right place to ask a question such as this, doesn't it?

Comments

[acharmingsmile]

Why, I happen to be the Gilderoy Lockhart. You must've heard of me? Professor Lockhart?

[ He lets out a nervous little giggle. Yes, a giggle. Pleasebegentle. ] And I assure you, these beautiful golden curls are entirely my own.

[meanwhileback]

Uh, never heard of you. Were you on RuPaul's Drag Race? 'Cuz I've missed the last like, two seasons.

[PLEASE. Penelope is a fashion designer. She thinks she knows a wig when she sees one, "Professor". She doesn't say anything about it, though, she just smirks knowingly. She knows.]

[acharmingsmile]

I beg your pardon? I'm afraid I've never heard of Paul's... Drag Race, dear. Is it an awfully important thing around here?

[ Can Gilderoy be on it and win more awards? She's making him awfully nervous, though. The way she keeps looking at his toupee and smirking just plain frightens him! ]

[meanwhileback]

Oh lord. I pity a world without Ru. Uh, not so much around here, more where I'm from.

...I'm actually dreading this, but I'm going to ask you anyway, just in case it's hilarious; so who actually are you, and why are you acting like I should know and/or care?

[GILDEROY WOULD MAKE IT HALFWAY THROUGH THE SEASON AND THEN BE ELIMINATED AFTER ATTEMPTING TO LIPSYNCH TO A BRITNEY SPEARS SONG AND FAILING MISERABLY AND YOU KNOW IT]

[acharmingsmile]

Is he or she famous as well?

Oh, I am a very very famous wizard known all across the wizarding world for my daring deeds, bravery, amazing fashion sense and dazzling good looks... it is a shame you darling people just haven't had the chance to get to know me yet! You DO miss out.

[ This is very very true. Don't introduce Gilderoy to Britney, it'll be a match made in blondeness, glitter and failed diets. ]

[meanwhileback]

You're a witch? No shit. Me too.

[Penelope's day is getting better and better. Someone has given her this fabulous gift and when she finds that person, she is going to marry them. Forever.]

Please tell me you're not from the Welsh kindred or I am going to laugh for eternity.

[These are some of her native world's magic-using-people's terms, and she's well aware that people from other worlds might not understand them, but on the off chance, she uses them anyway. Also, she's not exactly the sort to care whether people understand her or not, as long as she's enjoying herself. Which she very, very much is.]

[acharmingsmile]

I am a wizard, darling! Surely it must be obvious that I'm all man?

[ Gilderoy shakes his head once asked if he's Welsh. With that very posh British accent, really? ] Afraid not, are you from Wales yourself?

But it is delightful to meet a witch in these parts, although you must be quite sheltered not to recognize me~ Could I interested you to purchase some of my books?

[meanwhileback]

I'm from Minnesota. [WHICH ANSWERS NOTHING, honestly, but she's descended from English kindred. Not the Salem branch, thankfully. Her line came over far, far later. Like post-WWII later. Not that she's volunteering that information to Professor Powderpuff, here!]

"Witch" is gender-neutral. Do you think it's derogatory to associate yourself with feminine-derived terms? Why do you hate women, Gilderoy?

[This is all stated utterly deadpan, with just the slight smirk of a cat who has just knocked all your shit off your desk while staring straight at you. As if to say, now what.]

[acharmingsmile]

Isn't that in- Canada, yes? [ Gilderoy's geography knowledge isn't as good as it aught to be. Professor Powderpuff is just the perfect name for him and more people should use it~ Really, though he does know about the Salem thing since it IS taught at Hogwart's, it probably wouldn't make a lot of sense if she explained about her actual family history. This is a /very/ blonde wizard. ]

Oh... I beg your pardon? I love the ladies, without them I wouldn't sell a single book! And I've always been a perfect gentleman. [ He's just so deeply confused. ]