askandanswer | (no subject)

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fandom: harry potter

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Why am I so incredibly handsome? It is such a struggle tearing myself away from the mirror each and every morning... but looks like these must be shared with the world, you know.

[ He winks. ] I'm usually a remarkably modest fellow but this seems like the right place to ask a question such as this, doesn't it?

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[w h a t]

I'm sure the mirror misses you, too.

C'mon, you must have some theory. Or are you not as clever as you are pretty?

Don't be silly, my dear fellow! This- this isn't a laughing matter. [ Gilderoy is dead serious about all of this. ]

Well... I want to say it's a combination of my perfect teeth, perfect hair and radiant complexion but then my figure is very dashing as well, wouldn't you say?

[ Don't look directly at Lockhart's pants. ]

[TOO LATE.]

Who's laughing, mate? I'm not laughing.

[Okay, maybe inwardly.]

Quite the youthful figure. What's your secret?

Why thank you~! My secret is- ehm. Well.

I most certainly don't say no to a piece of pumpkin pie, you know! [ Gilderoy is afraid he can't quite pinpoint the secret to his cherubic but in shape look. ]

But you're very slender. Nothing to worry about there... you look quite like I did at your age, if not as pretty I'm sad to say.

Pumpkin pie, eh? I'll have to try it.

[Up go the eyebrows, a grin tugging at his lips.]

At my age? What, when you were forty-five?

You're forty-five? [ Gilderoy's hopes and dreams shatter before your very eyes, Constantine. This place is going to be the death of him. Then, the smile returns. ]

One CAN tell, I'm afraid. I was only- only-

We're about the same age... how fun! When- when is your birthday?

Forty-five indeed. Wish I could say it was clean living.

[What's the point of demonic taint if you can't have fun with it, is what he says. Also he's a bastard.]

Tenth of May. That makes me a Taurus with Mercury ruling over me birthday. In case you were wondering if we're compatible.

[...John.]

Mine is the 26th of J-January. Ehm- compatible for what, my dear fellow?

[ Gilderoy can't look more befuddled if he tried. Wait. Is this man trying to seduce him? He'd best be careful around this rogue. ]

I must've given you the wrong impression! I'm a teacher, you know. I'm not a- a- teeheehee~ [ Oh no he's giggling. Why do this, John? ]

Edited 2014-10-05 19:16 (UTC)

A teacher.

[A smirk curves John's mouth as he rifles about in his coat for cigarettes and lighter. He pinches a cigarette in the corner of his mouth, lights it, exhales a lungful of smoke before carrying on.]

Young teacher, the subject
of schoolgirl fantasy

Or so said some bloke in a song once. Good-looking fellow himself.

Why yes! Only recently, since the beginning of this year-

[ Gilderoy raises his eyebrows at the, ehm, gentleman singing that peculiar song. Then, he beams. ]

I'm afraid so...! I've received countless Valentine's Day cards from students, a great many. It was such fun, those poor dears. My heart does go out to them.

I do love to teach. I used to be a traveling adventurer but teaching is a lovely change from the usual.

...Valentine's cards.

[Careful, John, don't choke on the sweetness there.]

What sort of adventuring did you get up to on your travels?

I slay deadly creatures, monsters and such.. werewolves, vampires, yetis, ghouls, all sorts! It is quite exciting though a hassle to keep one's hair tidy. [ Gilderoy looks like he'd be scared to walk through a darkly lit street or something. ]

Would you like to purchase one of my books?

[John looks up, eyebrows raised as he takes another drag off his cigarette.]

What a coincidence--I do similar work. Dunno that I have much occasion for slaying but I do hunt down and deal with all sorts of supernatural beings.

...One of your books?

Why, yes! I am a best-selling author as well... isn't it splendid? But perhaps we aught to go hunt monsters together sometime?

[ Gilderoy is hoping to take credit, of course. It'll be only too easy if this fellow already trusts him. ]

[ He wants to go... oh dear. Dear, oh dear. This could be a disaster in the making.

...John, you're not supposed to find that appealing.

But, really, couldn't it be entertaining? If it doesn't get them killed, of course. ]

Perhaps we ought to, yeah.

We most certainly aught to, my dear fellow! [ Gilderoy gives him a hearty pat on the shoulder. ]

What sort of creatures do you suppose we'll be facing... as in, will I need my red robes for this? [ The splattered with demon blood look only frightens his female fans. ]

Edited 2014-10-11 09:23 (UTC)

[ Will he need his red-- he's serious about this, isn't he. ]

I usually go after demons and ghosts, myself. The worst of the lot.

Oh, I will tackle ANY deadly creature~ [ Gilderoy winks at him, clearly very confident in his ability to fight demons. ]

It'll be so exciting to have a partner. We'll be best friends, won't we? I can't allow you to share the book cover with me, though...

[ Thankfully John is also confident in his own ability; that's keeping him entertaining this entire idea. ]

S'all right, mate. I prefer to work without the spotlight on me. Complicates things.

I'm glad... it's no use putting such an unphotogenic fellow on the cover. Not that you're bad looking but I doubt you'd photograph as well as I do~

Say, should I bring my riding boots? [ ...you know, for the demons? You shouldn't even think about Gilderoy's brand of logic, for your own sanity's sake. Poor John. ]

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